Qualities Of A Good Man and A Good Woman

What You Think and Want Badly You Will Attract.
A good wife is not hard to find, however, any reasonable man needs time and space to breath and visualize a clear intention of what qualities they want from a good woman. A clear uncontaminated thinking and a sense of purpose differentiates a real man from real boys. The same applies to any woman who wants to marry or find a real man.

A real woman of wife material does not come with great looks of a "super model in magazine" covers. Think again and if that is what you wish to get for a good wife – don’t be surprised after making advances you discover how shallow and empty her mind functions and operates on an intellectual or spiritual level. Not all beautiful women are good wives just because they look fashionable and trendy! What's important is the quality of her brains and how she uses it to save the day.

Yet! Men pass up simple humble women who can become Excellent Wives; because these men think “simple is ugly” without giving credence to their inner beauty a chance to shine with time in a given relationship. A real man thinks straight and free from what his friends or colleagues think and do. A real man who exercises his independence and judgment of thought is free from guilt of what his peers or other people think of his decisions or action to search for what he wants.

Whereas, a real boy will always look for a second opinion to help him decide what is best for him from his friends, colleagues and family. Spiritual maturity is what separates men from boys; in the sense that a real man will think deep about his future to seek a partner who will become a co-fighter to tackle life’s obstacles as a team. A real man will seek a co-pilot to navigate life’s turbulent winds in the sky of marriage to make the relationship work and last years after their flight in the journey of love has taken off to the future.

A real man will look for qualities that are unique and special in a woman, which will represent her as an investment to become a potential partner in marriage. These qualities strangely have nothing to do with outer physical appearance of beauty or her latest fashion status outlook. Rather a deep connection to her spiritual intimacy should have a profound spark from within his heart, to get his total or an undivided attention. Even if beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, this beholder should be inside your soul whence the connection will take place and not outside, as society wants us to believe.

A man and a woman need to make this spiritual connection before they can assume or make claims that they’re in love. Without that spiritual spark everything else is artificial.  Fake love based on the standards and perception people impose on a couple via what they see through material glasses has become the yardstick which society uses to measure the barometer of a happy marriage.

This is a wrong measuring tool for this kind of purpose and reasons to get married. Physical  beauty is merely a facade of what can become of a woman as opposed to what her internal qualities are that most men tend to ignore or discard. The same is true for fake men and their shallow outlook in appearance. Modern society places high regard and value of physical outlook rather, than the inner calm internal hidden pearl a person inherits as beautiful. That’s why they say “beauty comes from within”. If there’s no spark – there will be no fire.

Shallow women will look at the shallow men wearing fashionable clothes and think they’ve found a REAL man, just because they think he is rich. By virtue of our ignorance and assumptions, we think their clothes and clean fashion looks represents and determines characteristics of a good man who can become a good potential husband and family man. Not always true at face value to assume the worst perhaps is it? It is easy to judge a book by its cover only to discover how poorly decorated and bad its content is.

Not all women can become good wives by birth right or inheritance from their mothers. But most women can be groomed to become excellent wives to bear children and look after a happy family. Some women will not be easy to turn into good wives for several reasons I will state here.

1. A man’s way of thinking and behavior is the cornerstone of the company of a woman they’ll attract and keep. Most couples’ don’t match their partner, but can be a work-in-progress to improve their odds.
2. A man’s upbringing and his family values will influence the company they keep within the environment they exist and grew up in. This determines the kind of a wife they will want to breed or marry. “Birds of a feather flock together”.
3. The place and spaces a man travels and moves about will also make up or create possibilities of a kind of a woman they want to attract in their lives.
4. A woman who places high value on material things will drive away a potential real good man or men in her life, because their appearance is too simplified and below their standards. 
5. “As you think so you become” - this parable and biblical quote can shed light in assisting men identify what goes on in their minds to avoid attracting a company of a woman they don’t want in their life. (If you’re the life of a party; chances of attracting a woman who is the life of a party are extremely high and not impossible to manifest). 

Why It Will Be Challenging To Turn A Materialistic Woman Into A Good Wife?

Self-Introspection - Be a Good Man To Attract a Good Wife.

A good woman is a reflection of a good man. If a man wants to attract a good woman, they can easily look at themselves how want to be treated in order to do the same or receive the same kind of treatment from a woman they intend to marry.

Not all simple men are poor and unworthy of women who are materialistic; she must earn her stripes and accolades in the heart of her potential spouse to deserve a position of treasurer in a man’s household bank vault.

Identifying Qualities of a Good Man

Any woman who wants to find a good man who is husband material will have to behave a little different from the rest of her “pack” or group, to be picked as prime receiver of a good man’s’ heart. This will be a challenging exercise for a woman to understand. Real men who are husband material are looking for a simple woman they can relate to, spiritually without attachment to material possession as a priority.

Someone who is approachable and without a chip on her shoulders that we see daily on how certain women conduct and handle themselves in front of men. The tendency for a women to judge a good man by his clothes and physical looks and appearance is very misleading to the public and should never be used as a determining factor to find true love.

Magazines and tabloids, TV brands use advertising to make men and women look better and superfluous than we give them credit for. Not every good loving man fits the profile that most women prescribe on their “men-hunting-list or menu”. It is a misrepresentation of the truth as we would like to know it. Simple is always better and because subtler men hide their wealth behind simplicity to protect their assets and interest against “gold-diggers”.

A real man who can become a true family loving man and husband does not hide behind a 6 pack, carved body with muscles and six feet tall with a smile that dazzles the Sun. This outward appearance is what retailers want you to think and believe; as a true image of your desires to mislead your perception to identify with their brand marketing campaigns.

What You Bring Into the Marriage Accounts for Your Legacy Credits
Most men will bring equal if not more to what women might bring into the marriage table or vice versa. This depends on the background, passion and cultures from which each partner was born. Notably a real man will admire the following traits and qualities from their dream woman when they marry her.

1. She must be grounded to her self-preservation to the new spouse to sustain the legacy of the husband’s family. A woman is the root and origin of life and continuity of civilizations that emerge from her children long after all generations are gone.
2. So! A woman anchors these roots as an extension of their joined relationships in which the family tree is nourished and strengthened for next generations to harvest its fruits. To build this kind of family is to be chosen by God to be a “Garden” that will bear fruits to sustain the gene and DNA of our humanity.
3. Entering into a marriage should not be perceived as a simple affair by husband and wife to entertain and impress family and friends or colleagues. It is about building a tribe and asserting the family seeds and inheriting new fruits for the man they marry.
4. Her gift in marriage is manifested in her ways to be a pillar of support to the family by the way she cooks them family meals. The way she raises her children and how she speaks and breaths love into them equally with unconditional attention. 
5. She comes as a blessing to all around her spouse and siblings. She will portray resilience in character to take pain and pleasure with equal amount of attitude. As if the World knows her strength comes from rotation of the Sun and her inner beauty from the song of the solar system. 
6. After all she is the core of Mother Earth and within her is the secret of humility to preserve our being. Only God understands why she is queen of creation to embrace all of our unique life's' qualities and forbearances while keep our home and fire of hope burning. 

Marriage Is a Reciprocal Relation Built on Trust and Virtue
This is a simplified version of the basic characteristics of a Real Woman every man would like to find and marry in their life. This woman is so down to earth that most men won’t even recognize her. This kind of a woman speaks less and has an inner radiance and peace that no one can describe.

You just know it when you meet this kind of a woman for the first time. She’s not too materialistic but is part of our material make up. Ask any man who has been married for more than 20 to 60 years what’s special about their wife. The answer you’ll get will be a round about speech that leaves the listener baffled with confusion.

This quality of woman is very much with us and around us she is amongst us, the female species of friends or colleagues. You just need to look beyond your forehead to recognize the personality of that woman I’m talking about. She will help fight with you in your battles when the going gets tough. She will stand side-by-side with you when no one is around to pick you up when you are down.

In short, she behaves with great personal conviction to love from within. She acts with a deeper sense of belonging to become an extension of you. She will never judge you as a husband or your children. She never criticizes anyone in the family because she is grounded and anchored from creation since Yin and Yang became the force of our existence. This kind of trust and virtue cannot be bought for any price wealthy people will afford to pay.

That is why we want 

S.A. MARRIAGE AWARDS CELEBRATIONS ASSOCIATION is formed to honor & award these marriages & couples!

isaac khonjelwayo

Life Coach Author & Business Consultant

By: Isaac Khonjelwayo

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